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Worst. Job Title. Ever.

Megan Grocki - December 22nd 2010

I recently bought a new car. A few weeks after driving off the lot I received an email thanking me for my business and a thoughtful note asking for my feedback. Of course! I love surveys, not only because I occasionally design them and want to get any and all examples of dos & don’ts, but I am thrilled that they want my feedback. As I am about to click the link, I look down and see the sender’s job title.

Vice President – Customer Retention. Really? Retention?

Yes I am a customer, but no I don’t want to be “retained.” Retaining is for adolescent teeth. While it may be your business goal, you shouldn't let it bleed through to your title. I am a human being, not a molar.

The sentiment behind the note was sincere, and I appreciated the opportunity to share my comments, opinions, praise and criticism. I completed the survey, and in the open comment field made my case that he has the most obtuse job title ever and that he should consider changing it to Vice President – Customer Experience or something of the like.

Shame, I never heard back.

What’s the worst job title you’ve ever seen?

Comments (5)

Charlie - 896 days ago
Hi Megan, In higher education we have "student retention" committees--focused on the laudable goal of keeping students on track for graduation. But perhaps motivated by the same ick feeling you got, we recently changed our committee name to "student connections." Would VP for Customer Connections have felt any better to you?

Megan Grocki - 909 days ago
Thanks Gino! This is a clear case of "oops, your org. chart is showing!"

Gino Bona - 909 days ago
Retention?! Horrible title. Its disappointing to see so many businesses focus solely on their internal objectives AND be lazy/ignorant enough to let it show to the consumer. You want a car and you want the experience of shopping and, possibly, purchasing that vehicle to be as enjoyable as humanly possible. Sure, a semi-intelligent consumer will assume the car dealership wants you to purchase your next vehicle there, but they dont need to make that objective apparent by putting it in the VPs title. When I was in the ad agency world as a business developer, one of my main objectives was to grow revenue from existing clients. If I asked Toyota Motor Sales what my title should be, they probably would've handed me business cards that read, Vice President, Director of Bleeding Every Last Cent From Existing Clients Marketing Budget. I wish companies would learn that internal messaging doesnt translate when communicating with consumers.

Gino Bona - 909 days ago
Retention?! Horrible title. Its disappointing to see so many businesses focus solely on their internal objectives AND be lazy/ignorant enough to let it show to the consumer. You want a car and you want the experience of shopping and, possibly, purchasing that vehicle to be as enjoyable as humanly possible. Sure, a semi-intelligent consumer will assume the car dealership wants you to purchase your next vehicle there, but they dont need to make that objective apparent by putting it in the VPs title. When I was in the ad agency world as a business developer, one of my main objectives was to grow revenue from existing clients. If I asked Toyota Motor Sales what my title should be, they probably would've handed me business cards that read, Vice President, Director of Bleeding Every Last Cent From Existing Clients Marketing Budget. I wish companies would learn that internal messaging doesnt translate when communicating with consumers.

Anonymous - 909 days ago
The title makes him sound more like a disciplinary figure rather than a customer service representative. His letter would not excite me, more like frighten me. It’s too bad he hasn’t taken your suggestion into consideration. Try this title on for size: Change Catalyst (Business executive)

The Rookie

Courtney Parkinson - December 13th 2010

As a newbie at Mad*Pow, I have come to some conclusions:

My appetite for coffee is insatiable. Thankfully, we are located directly above a coffee shop.
I take notes on paper, unlike my highly technophile co-workers who are ferociously typing every word on their devices.
I am an "active" desk person. Don't mistake my fidgeting, talking, moving and coffee retrieval as lost productivity. It's all part of my process.

I’m new. I’m fresh. I'm hip. However, using fresh and hip as descriptors, speaks more to my nerd-like tendencies perpetuating my nickname “snortney”. After three months, my desk is a sea post its, empty coffee cups and highlighted marketing literature. I may be due for a digital makeover.

Thankfully, everyone at Mad*Pow has encouraged and supported my behavior. I am impressed and humbled by my talented coworkers.

This isn't Tahoe or Texas. Better yet, it’s my home town. I'm proud to work with and for such a talented group of people. I'd like to thank Casey for his incessant bragging of the company he works for, and encouraging me to apply when I moved back east.

So here I am, the awkward new kid, making my way through a digital journey, as a Marketing Specialist at Mad*Pow. I couldn't be happier.

Comments (0)

Flexible Designs, Concrete Principles

Buck Beaudoin - December 1st 2010

These days, implementing rock solid design is like trying to paint your house while it's on fire. The abundance of tools, from desktops to tablets, has made the design process daunting at best. Our design canvas is constantly changing. Just when you think you've mastered one, it collapses, melts or blows up.

How do you design an experience to work on laptops, notebooks, desktops, iPhones, Androids, Blackberries and iPads? Particularly when you’ve fallen in love with your traditional big screen design?

Luke Wroblewski's compelling presentation Parti and the Design Sandwich lays out a brilliant method for working through this design conundrum. Wroblewski contends if you hold tight to your core design principles as you make your way through the decision making process, you will achieve a holistic design.

This thinking can extend through your design lifecylce. By creating a solid foundation of design principles, you can create a flexible design approach. The core principles of the experience holds true on any platform as the user‘s goals are static. Having a malleable design approach based on a solid experience foundation accomplishes your design objectives, while properly displaying your client’s site, no matter what tool they're viewing it on.

The technology already exists to make this a reality, but it makes for serious challenges as task flows get shifted to different planes as screen resolutions decrease in size. This push for flexibility also challenges the designer to strip away the fat, providing only the most user-centric and actionable items necessary to fulfill the primary objective, resulting in clean and purpose-driven designs.

As technology and tools evolve, it's imperative our design principles remain unwavering, but our design approach be flexible.

Comments (0)

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